منتديات ام درمان

منتدى أم درمان للتواصل وتبادل الآراء والمنافع باسلوب حضاري


    قصص انجليزية

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    نور السلام
    نائب المدير
    نائب المدير

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    انثى عدد المساهمات : 153
    نقاط : 415
    تاريخ التسجيل : 21/01/2010
    العمر : 24
    الموقع : http://jeunesse14.ahlamuntada.com

    قصص انجليزية

    مُساهمة  نور السلام في الخميس فبراير 11, 2010 4:51 pm

    100 Deposit The well-dressed



    , gray-haired woman was

    crying her eyes out. She had just been fined $100 by the

    judge because a month ago her dog made a mess on the

    front lawn of the courthouse.


    “I just got out of the cab and I leashed Poopsie to the

    light pole. After I paid the fare and gave the driver a

    dollar tip, I turned around and saw that Poopsie had made a mess. I didn’t have any plastic bags, so I said,

    ‘Well, Poopsie, let’s go home. There’s nothing I can do

    about this now.’



    “We were just starting home when I heard this voice out

    of nowhere: ‘Excuse me, ma’am. Is that your dog?’ I

    turned around. It was an officer of the law. Well, of

    course, it was my dog. ‘That dog just made an illegal

    deposit on the courthouse lawn. As its owner, it’s your

    responsibility to dispose of that deposit. See the sign

    over there? I’m going to have to write you a citation.’


    “I asked him what sign he was talking about. He pointed

    all the way down to the end of the block. One little

    sign, a block away! How could anyone see that? I

    couldn’t see that sign with my best opera glasses. The


    officer said that I could fight the ticket. He said the

    judge was a nice old man who owned four dogs. So I said,

    ‘OK, thank you, I’ll fight the ticket.’



    “So when I went to court, I dressed Poopsie up in his

    prettiest ribbons and made extra sure he did his

    business first. We were both so excited. I just knew the

    judge and Poopsie would hit it off.


    “But do you know what happened when we got inside? They

    had a different judge, a judge who is allergic to dogs,


    and he immediately started sniffling, coughing,

    sneezing, and looking around. And then he yelled at me

    to get the dog out of the courtroom. He fined me $100 on

    the way out without even giving me a chance to talk

    about Poopsie’s chronic dyspepsia. It was terrible! I’m

    still upset.”







    48 Homes Burn Down near Malibu (2)




    Bill told Jimi to look up at the ridge, near the park.

    Bill thought he saw flames. Jimi went outside with his

    binoculars. He could see a suspicious glow. Using the

    binoculars, he could see flames. “God damn it!” he yelled.


    He called Bill back. Then he and Bill started calling

    one neighbor after another, as they had established a

    fire warning and evacuation plan years ago. The whole

    community of 98 homeowners managed to get into their

    cars with their families and pets and just a few of

    their material possessions. They all survived the raging fire.



    Unfortunately, 48 homes were destroyed and 27 were

    damaged. The fire engines were just not close enough to

    the community to get there before the Santa Ana winds,

    gusting up to 60 mph, ripped through the canyon. The

    next day, firefighters declared that the fire was a

    result of “human activity,” although they hadn’t

    determined if the fire was deliberate or accidental.


    Homeowners were allowed to return to their home sites to

    assess damages. Most homeowners were philosophical about

    their losses. “We’ve got our families and our friends.

    That’s far more important than our homes and other possessions,” said Eve Grant.


    But Jimi Hendrix was less even-tempered. “Common sense

    would tell anybody that you don’t set fires in a wooded

    area when the wind is blowing like crazy. Any idiot

    would know that. As far as I'm concerned, these bastards

    ought to be burned at the stake. And I’d grab me a front-row seat.”













    A Bad MRI Experience




    “Boy, we just wasted a whole morning,” Roy complained

    over the phone to his middle-aged son. Roy’s wife had

    been scheduled for a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)

    exam, because her shoulder had been bothering her for

    months. It had gotten to the point where her golf game

    was suffering—she couldn’t break 120 anymore. Her

    drives, although still down the middle of the fairway,

    barely went 90 yards. Without the game of golf and the

    company of her golfing companions, Pat was a depressed woman.




    Her doctor had recommended the MRI exam. For a shoulder

    exam, the patient lies face up on a flat **--**l “bed.”

    The bed slides into the MRI machine, like a DVD sliding

    into a DVD player. The patient’s nose is barely two

    inches from the **--**l ceiling. Many patients who are

    even slightly claustrophobic become nervous or even

    hysterical when they are slid into this compartment. The

    MRI operator has to slide them back out where they can

    “breathe” again. This happens regularly, even though

    patients are warned about the tomblike environment.


    Pat’s doctor had given her a sedative to take half an

    hour before the exam. He had also told her to wear a

    sleep mask, which would cover her eyes so that she

    wouldn’t see the ceiling just inches from her face. Pat

    took the sedative and wore the mask. But as soon as she

    was slid all the way into the machine, she started

    screaming. The technician pushed the button to slide her

    back out. She was hyperventilating.




    “Oh, my God! I could feel it! It was like I was being

    buried alive!” she exclaimed to her husband. “You’re

    such a baby,” Roy told her as they walked out of the MRI room.



    A Dream from Beyond (1)




    I was sound asleep. My grandfather appeared in a dream.

    He asked why I had never visited him and grandma at the

    cemetery. He said that even my mom hadn’t visited since

    October 4 (grandma’s birthday). He told me that, when I

    was young, I had walked out into a pond and slipped

    under water. He had rescued me. He said grandma was

    supposed to be watching me, but that she had gotten sick

    all of a sudden and was throwing up. It was probably the

    fresh blackberries they had picked and eaten earlier.

    Grandma had a bad stomach.


    My parents were out on a boat in the pond. They did not

    know that grandpa had saved me until they got back to

    shore. I was in a towel and my clothes were drying on

    bushes. My brown and white Buster Brown shoes were also

    soaked. I was only three years old, grandpa said. My

    parents were angry at first, but when they saw that


    Grandpa told me that we had a picnic after that. The

    four of us ate some chicken, potato salad, and homemade

    cookies. We drank lemonade. Then grandpa took me for a

    walk in the woods (I sat on his shoulders). I saw some daisies, and we picked them. When we returned, I

    presented three daisies to mom and three to grandma, who

    was finally feeling better. Grandpa said to bring some daisies to the gravesite. Then I woke up.]

      الوقت/التاريخ الآن هو الإثنين ديسمبر 11, 2017 2:10 pm